I don't know where I'm going, but I've stalled inside my mind. And I know that I can't stay... Absurdly called away. Why? Must I crave meaning if existing is inherently absurd? I wanna go back there now x3 Time will do me wrong. I wanna go back there now x 3 Death will cut me off. Life holds no ambition, when I'm beaten down inside my mind... So why write when no one listens to any part of my songs? Why? This craving hunger that can never seem to be controlled. I wanna go back there now x3 Time will do me wrong. I wanna go back there now x 3 Death will cut me off. I wanna go back there now x3 I'm sick of all my flaws. I wanna go back there now x 3 Death will cut me off. I was in my own head though. I was in my own head though. (I was in my own head though) The riverbed where we would run in hopes we'd see it soon break through. (I was in my own head though) And coming home to sadness then to play unhindered in my room. (I was in my own head though) The body cold, my cousins tears perplexed me (in some dull mood) (I was in my own head though) The spectre of a loved ones ghost would never ruin the cartoon. (I was in my own head though) Yet wake in fright from rapture dreams to run into my parents room. Well I was in my own head though... I was in my own head though. Been caught up in my own head though. I was in my own head though :( credits

How wretched are the schemes I plan within my home hemmed in twixt the walls my mind once set in stone Much more hurt I’ve wrought from building up this hope the failure to see past myself means I just cannot cope Try imagine where you’ll be when you die Will you live to see yourself ill-defined By all those you’ve never quite known  When, fearing your inevitable end  You fear you’re broken and you just cannot mend You’re controlled by the super ego To always feel like there is nothing left to offer or soon to find its rather pointless to fight the urges the unhinged madness within my mind And yet still here I am, aware of all my flaws poisoned in a gutter I am crawling on all fours this black tar turns my heart though I fight with all I own Sown seeds of ill repute in truth have left me here dethroned Try imagine where you’ll be when you die Will you live to see yourself ill-defined By all those you’ve never quite known  When, fearing your inevitable end  You fear you’re broken and you just cannot mend You’re controlled by the super ego Like, A stranger in the shroud of the night Certain flashes I sporadically sight Of A Man who I just do not know Faced with eyes that quite resemble my own see a weakness which I’m coming to know Is gaining all control of my soul. To always feel like there is nothing left to offer or soon to find its rather pointless to fight the urges the unhinged madness within my mind to always feel like there is nothing left to offer or soon to find its rather pointless to fight the urges the unhinged sadness of kallans mind PART 2 To always feel like there is nothing left to offer or soon to find its rather pointless to fight the urges the unhinged madness within the mind A growing sadness and clouded judgement were but I strengthened might take my mind one must imagine that night filled mountain is scaled in gladness each time in kind sin has poisoned all the goodness all truth now faded - once well defined now in the greyness i fight the urges of restrained madness within my mind to seek the comfort  of lives uncovered shared in kindness would seem advised but I can’t fight the fear of failing to bridge the distance between two lives

I swear you'll see me On the other side cus I don't want my hope to die And maybe it's a lie to pretend i'm in control when my transience leaves me cold. I'm a man and yet, there's no understanding it Rhyme and reason fade away While my hope fades to grey. And settling down won't save my soul It's just acceptance that I'm growing old Emboldened by the truth, in the futility of youth. You find someone cute, say “i could wait for death with you” I don't mean to be grim, and try giving glory to him But i'm fallible, following fools to a fall. So I stall. I build up walls. Won't let none in. Cus I can't begin To drop the act. To admit a lack. Of humility is driving me, further down into sin. Verse 2 I'm hopelessly devoted To the thought i'm both loathed and loved I fear approval from one who lives above I know it's ego, I try to slow it But it leads I follow and I dont know where it's going everytime I seem to fall back in self love it's with the idea of me not who I have become Chorus So I run Pretend I've begun a blessed path to elude death's grasp and when I claim, all my beliefs are sane somewhere inside though it hides is my desire to never die So I feed On eternity to convince myself all pain is a wealth Of development in a fiction lent credibility oh by he who authors my discontent BREAK Well some fear this (fear this) they must confess (please forgive me father, I have sinned) pray to elude the void which consumes our pure black hearts (black as tar) in varying parts well all of us have to trust the meaning that we choose to make our own “To be alone and aimless at this time in life, well it would seem to me, a tad bit reckless son, surely you might soon learn how to concede? recurrent nightly dreams of failing imperfect as I am I've taken mental steps to prepare to rest my bested heart in the end alone and I know but could I concede “You say your brain is wholly broken but I'm sure that there's nothing such amiss When wed you'd daily gain, why live in fear of any transient bliss?” even if I were soon thus inspired what kind of man would place all his desire above the love and hope of one whom could not know the depth of my depravity? “What meaning can there be to find but in the eyes of young you've made, and still in learning how to grow and live, you might soon come to see in which yourself?” I'd wile the years away in time and come to spawn a child who might resent me for all the flaws I fight and despite this love still I die I cannot fail to fail “I think you've overthought it all, and so have learnt to err and stall in life you must take risks, or else in time you'll wind up dead for nought” I'll die for nought, either way but I confess to fearing failure and somewhere yet a stark refusal to forego purity for lust alone testifies that I may still hold some hope here for love “Valued and beloved, we are gathered here,” he claims, “to celebrate the union, of whom let none estrange” Smiling; in her beauty: find comfort which won't stay as my estimated value leads me to dismay And dismay to disillusion, doubt dawns on me anew now standing at the pulpit left wishing to eschew this fling a fitful passion her eyes they do not err mine stay dull and quite unfocused while my soul it weeps and stirs “my failure ever looming, my love contains no worth all I am is this delusion: I make misery from mirth” so I stall I build up walls wont let none in cus I can't begin to drop the act admit a lack of humility is driving me further down into sin Her smile has slowly faded, from fear which made its mark I run now to the fig tree left mute by all the paths Her tears can naught but haunt me the gasp across the crowd called henceforth from my memory That sense of sun upon my brow A life lived long and lonely Should surely be my end Spent never really knowing What any of this meant

All the greed of men combined Cannot be compared to mine To note the thoughts of all my pride A sea of ink would soon run dry Despite the sum of knowledge gained With faiths demise, my joy decays. Chorus I seek to comprehend, that which has no end But when I trust myself, my feeble mind is inadequate Faith in a sense, helps one to accept Fears just so immense, my feeble mind cannot hope to transcend V2 The perceived joy of all my friends combined Swiftly broken, this heart resigns PRECHORUS Led to fear, when it cannot find much hope in life, with death in mind. CHORUS 2 Understanding fails, where blind faith might prevail In calming all the doubt, my feeble mind can't seem to shut out When reason is employed, I'm left naked before the void And while some may carry on, I fear that I'll jump in before too long. BRIDGE I've been spat out of the mouth Refuse to concede I've any doubt. As hoisted, right upon upon my brow A face once joyful, resentment's has turned sour... resentment has turned sour CHORUS 3 To place my hope in God, my lifetime must be fraught With a humility, I fear cannot ever be born Aesthetic at the core, I can't avoid lukewarm.. And all that I possess, is a mind deeply consumed with either/or.